It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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