Your mouth is God's brothel.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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