Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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