My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
