I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
