hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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