Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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