3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
