Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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