I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
