I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
