Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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