last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
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Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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