you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
