and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
