he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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