brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
