you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Last time i carry you out of a forest
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
