i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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