So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
