Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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