ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
