Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
