omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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