Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
