i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
