I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
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Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
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we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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