Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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