He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
