I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
