I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
