i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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