Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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