i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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