quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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