I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
