I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
