There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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