She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
