I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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