you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize