At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
