I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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