Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
