i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
