I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
