hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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