i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize