she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
