i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
