You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
