She announced her abortion via fbk
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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