She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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