You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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