dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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