I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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