does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
