his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
