I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
