Whod you bang
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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