Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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