Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize